Living a Life above Reproach in a Kingdom that is Jungle-Like: Guidance of the MASTER!!!

Unfortunately, I have already maintained to miss two months of my blog (Jamie I hope this post will make up for my lack of obligation to the blogging world for the 5 people who read this!). I can make excuses, but I will make it up with my thoughts and lessons in life over the past couple of months with my typical style!

The Challenge

In mid August, through September (a little into October) I was challenged in how I live my life. I believe I cannot live my life completely for God when there are other things in my life I cannot completely release and clear up with others and even God (an ongoing growing journey in my faith). The challenge was to live completely…no half or even 80% action and get rid of what hinders or gets in the way of my relationship with God. How awesome is life when I live without reserves…when I don't it ultimately puts a damper in my relationships, especially the most important one, my relationship with my God…you know the hottt Jesus in The Passion of the Christ! Hehe…I can do a carpenter! Haller! JK!

The Eagle

For example, I cannot completely worship and commit my life to Christ if I hold resentment, anger, frustrations, un-forgiveness, etc. It is funny….I get a challenge and then it is almost like God wanted to see if I would stick to what I wanted to change and make better. It is like how much better can my relationship with God be if I let the poopie pants thoughts go??? I am not one to typically hold negative emotions too long without talking about it because for some reason I do not function well unless I get ish off my chest when something is wrong. I believe the inner voice is the Holy Spirit, for sure.

But…..One thing, I really have been holding onto is my relationship with my Grandma. I will refer to her as the Eagle. For no legit reason at all, I have been the victim for some reason in her eyes for speaking truth. I had developed anger and major frustrations. In the past, family members would walk in a room and get love and recognition, yet I would do the same thing, and she would physically turn her back away from me. I started to take showers to see if there would be a change…and the results….heheh…That is just one of many examples of how I have been treated in the past, where even other family members have recognized the coldness. Of course, I have tried to talk to the little old lady, but the elder are set in their ways. I began to build resentment and anger more. I began to get so frustrated. I had the solution to stay away from her and if I was with her, I made sure I was never in a room alone with her because I would get criticized for no reason….it was better for me to learn to be quite around the Eagle for when I spoke truth, there was never a common consensus.

The sad thing is I am passionate about the elder. And everyone in my family would be the first to say that I am the biggest family together bonding person within the family. I love working and spending time with the wise aged, listening to the stories of their lives. Before my other great grandparents and grandmother died, I would call each every week and chat…with the Eagle I struggle with that, like I said I have to be careful. With my challenge I began to feel convicted, I decided to become rubber and let the Eagle’s attitude toward me bounce off me.

I think in life, we are called to forgive, even sometimes when the person is not at a state to hear it, the only person I have full control over is me, and I can change me and my attitude with an unspoken forgiveness. I know I was able to really do this and feel freedom, for recently, I have spent so much time with the Eagle and really enjoyed it. It is something about forgiving someone when they never will understand the hurt and damage they did to you yet, you love them and release the knot trenching feelings in your stomach…and release! I am a dork, still…and my mom and sis laugh at me…but I do have a self talk with myself when I get ready to see the Eagle….I say out loud to myself… “I am a good person, I am a good person…I have integrity” Funny because positive self talk is one of the strategies I teach my students in character ed …I guess you are never to old to learn! The eagle is forgiven. I had a blast with her over Christmas...it was amazing!

The Cheetahs

When I was in high school, there was a motto constantly mentioned…LIVING A LIFE ABOVE REPROACH. Along with sticking with my challenge to live and get rid of hindrances which effect me in whom I am, especially in my relationship with God, I really have been tested. The idea of living a life above reproach to me means to stick to my personal philosophy of a Christian life, even when others criticize me or question me when I really know I am doing right. I know I am stubborn, but I also know when I am stubborn, and I feel that characteristics of stubbornness are not the issue.

The past trimester, my motto, has taken more into play then it ever has in the category of my career. I understand parents (for now I will refer to them as the Cheetahs) think their children are gems. I value their children as gems too, but this year I have had cheetahs strongly disagree with me when I have discussed the progress of their child, when there are multiple pieces of evidence that back up how their child is progressing! It is sad, for it is almost like some cheetahs have wanted me to go against my integrity to make their child glow beyond what they really are like. As a result, there are times this year that I have felt like a piece of raw red meat, and the Cheetahs are after me. It is not horribly bad and does not change how I treat my students and love them individually, but it is a situation I have not yet encountered to this effect. I really have always felt strongly as I entered the teaching profession that no matter what, I must maintain my integrity, respect, and faith as a person without compromise. I have been and will continue to cling to living a life above reproach!

The Motha Bee

When I live a life where I trust and rely on God without hindrances, it creates a stronger relationship in my life between God and me. I have never had a security in my profession. Part of me is really ok with knowing I can have the freedom to move around and not be settled in a particular place and level to teach, but the years have go on, and I have built and made relationships. I really love what and where I am at more and more. It is something about having students I have had over the years come back and visit and hang. A rewarding part of my job is the trust developed over a year with a child becomes a trust of a lifetime, for the students I have had come back and are so vulnerable and still have that sparkle in their eye that I adore!

The Motha Bee in a hive controls how the hive is ran and when the honey in the hive is orchestrated….the Motha Bee is definitely in charge! I guess my district and the governor is the Motha Bee that really controls my security. This year my approach is different, for my relationship with God is better, which makes me have a stronger peace. Having a job is something to always pray for and if it is somewhere else I pray that God would make it an easy transition and an obvious door to go through. As of now, I really do not know what the Motha Bee is up to…but I have a feeling over the next couple of months the rope will unravel! I am trusting God, not letting hindrances get in the way.

The Lion’s Courage

Emily is a dear friend of mine whom I think emulates living a life above reproach better than anyone I know with the courage of a lion. Emily is adored by anyone whom meets her. She has this incredible glow which portrays her passionate life determination and goals. I cannot remember her email contact information off the top of my head, but I know hotness and rad are definitely in the address! hehehe I had the privilege to go and be Emily’s side kick in Oahu as she was the key note speaker in various events with Ambry Genetics and the Mauli Ola Foundation where we met some of the most genuine people. What an honor it was to go witness how Emily lives her life in an atmosphere different with morals and a demonstrated God honoring life.

The Oahu adventure was an incredible trip where many were awakened to the daily life of Emily with CF not only through her example, but living in a house with the Mauli Ola crew did it. We were in an environment where daily, many lost control of themselves through various addictions. For various medical reasons and purely life choices, Emily truly was an example obvious of someone who lived her life different, but not in a threatening way at all to those around her…. and everyone eventually noticed, with the up most respect for Emily. Emily was so sweet and as they would say “she’s EPIC”. Over the period of a week, a group of people changed and were impacted by simply living within the same parameters of Emily…watching her daily regimented life depending routines, not once complaining as she stopped when it was time to do meds regardless of the location or event. What an example. Lion of Courage.

The Dolphins

As I have had multiple adventures to the beach I have witnesses how dolphins travel…they swim in packs and it is such a reflection of friendships. I am so blessed by the friendships in my life. It is purely incredible.

I made a big purchase with Sheena and Lena. We are now members of the Disney family for a year. I have enjoyed going to the world of magic and have so many giggles. For my mom’s birthday my sis and I got her a pass too. It is even more magical going to Disneyland with a 3 year old!

I guess as I think about my personal challenges and decisions in my relationship with the Lord, my peeps are too experiencing the same. I would say over the past couple of months I have been able to travel and do flips like Flipper with my pals….again watching how they are following the guidance of the Master!

It was so fun to travel with Lena and see the Krill crew’s OREGON pad. I entered the largest book store I think I have ever entered…and possibly read about half of them! hehe The artistic character of God is all over Oregon. The fall colors were pretty much incredible. I kicked myself in the butt, because I forgot my camera at school, so I only have the memories with me. Ami is growing so much and is a little miracle. I am always amazed as I teach how the body grows and functions…..uhhhh… how can one not believe in God…our bodies are so intricately made in how they work, and to watch a child grow just makes it even more exciting for me cause it is the work of God!

From Oregon, I had the random opportunity to visit the most beautiful people in Austin. They might be in the top HOT people of 2008 magazine (bikini edition). It was incredible to witness again how two sista are completely growing in their relationship with the Lord as they are putting their faith and passion 100% together and watching God provide in abundant ways. I am sooo proud.

After going to San Diego….Nikki too….. same story, as her hubby is doing many missions. The strength and her relationship with God is sooo strong. Amen. Seriously!

It is so reassuring many of my friends are living a life with quest for the Lord!

The New Challenge

January brings in a new year. I don’t normally make resolutions, but this year I am taking with me the lessons that began and have been enhanced since the middle of August. I am on a mission to continually search for what can make my relationship with Christ even better, as I continue to reflect on what might be holding me back. I really think I might have to make post-it notes everywhere to remind myself to live a life above reproach, but I am so blessed, for I have incredible peeptasticness of friends around me that encourage like none other.

Of Course the Random Non-Related Part

My sis and I are beginning weight lifting training. We are becoming the Biggest Loser Sisters. Look for us on channel 52653 at 5:00 O’Clock every night. On top of my running with my teacher pals before school, my sis and I are going to begin a weight lifting challenge and accountability toward one another. I am pretty motivated. I am ready to be healthier and six packed! Ha! Not sure that really will happen, but I can try…I can draw it on! Oh, that would be the day. I am serious though, I think in about a month my bootie might loose a little bit of it’s shape or maybe my big toe will get toned through all this! Ha!