Today, I went on a field trip with my students. It was awesome. It is sort of like hanging out with 29 friends, well that are 9 and 10! I guess it is cool, because they appreciated the trip so much! They just get excited to ride a bus. And are so well behaved! Since this was our 4th field trip the kids know the routine. I immediately become a tour guide, since most of the kids have not been far away from home. One kid said, "So what cool thing are we going to see on the way to Riley's Farm?" Since there is not much, I said, "The amazing statue of Ms. McGee, and it is free!" They liked that! Simple things got them excited, as we talked about the University of Redlands and the idea that the area is known for Citrus. They were fasinated!
I knew when I student taught in Hacienda Heights, after a period of time, I would eventually work with a lower economic group. I knew I could be a huge impact in their lives and love on the kids. I consider my years in Glendora, my foundational and confidence buiding years, but I honestly knew and it was a matter of time, though it is still hard, and they were temperary years.
This year hands down was my hardest year in teaching, partically because of what happened in my personal life, but also because of the stories I learned of my students and some of the craziness some of them put me through. Just this week I yet again need to call a social worker because a student made a father's day card with 4-20 and marajana leaves, then talked about how there was nothing wrong with the picture because that is what her dad sells in their house! Oh man! This is the first time in my career, where I am feeling the saddest to have to say goodbye to my kids. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all my students over the years, but I am just to the point with my class where we really know each other very well. It is scary how well we all are close in a bizarre way. Though school will be out in a few weeks, I wish I could have three more months with my kids. I thought I would never say that! It is just hard. My mom put it nicely once, as she was going through her grieving class. Every year I go through a loss emotionally, as I have to say goodbye to my classes, and pack up my classroom as if I was not going back. This time the loss is harder to deal with, not because of the staff, but the kids. School is a safe place for them, and now they have no summer school and are going to be in their homes, where many parents dont want them there.
I am confident that God wanted me in Duarte this year. Really without any doubt, now. I have had many, many lessons, that have really made me a better professional. Not sure why it is me who has to keep learning lessons in my profession with a lack of consistancy and awareness of what the future holds, but there is a strong consistancy and desire to teach. I hold onto that with faith that the Lord will continue to provide for what is to come. By next week, I will be done with all the paperwork aspect of my job, and then it will be time, yet again to pack. God is in control, and good thing.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
May 23rd Blessed be Your Name
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
The song I play over and over in the car is “Blessed be Your Name.” The lyrics really have hit home for me. I continue to think of the gift of life that I have along with new philosophies, or added on thoughts. I am also continuing to learn that in the journey of the life I am given, no matter what, when, how, why, where, how long, and with whom, I have to remember through it all-blessed be the name of the Lord! God is constant, he never changes and his promises written in the Bible are real and true. I have reminded myself of this concept, and I turn to God, and look to him for guidance and really strength, which leads to a priority check and gentile reminders rooted with hope and faith.
Emily going to heaven was really hard. It was something I knew was going to happen, yet I never really knew how it would be until it happened. The day she passed away was a crazy day. It was the day of the CF walk and all of Team Emily was together walking. I started crying at the registration table before anything started. I usually can keep a tear from falling, but I am beginning to think not anymore. The particular walk was one in which Emily really took ownership in, to get so many other teams involved to raise money for a cure for CF. I think this might have been the 10th year for the Team Emily walk. It was hard, for Emily was not there, or even knew it was happening. At the beginning of the program as the speakers spoke, it was hard to keep a tear from falling. Emily used to be the speaker. My sis kept tenderly rubbing my back, and then typical McGee style slapped me in the butt to make me laugh!
After the walk I got news that Emily was in a place where the docs gave her 24 hours, but really less. Her sort of Aunt told me to get in the car with her from the CF walk to go to the hospital. I decided to go home and call our small group so we could all be together. With Lena the six of us hung at Jill’s, since she was supposed to pop anytime, and pretty much waited for the phone call. The first phone call was to pray that she was going to be unplugged from all the machines. The second phone call was to ask to pray for an easy passing. The third phone call was to say she was in heaven. Emily is no longer struggling to get a breath of air, as for sure since November it had been difficult for her. She is not longer in ICU in critical condition for over three months. She is home, safely home.
What a testimony of a person Emily is, whose heart is solely one after God to fight so hard when her body failed her. The times that I was able to visit her she was coherent. The last time was especially hard as it was just the two of us in her room, she looking at me with big eyes, continuing to mouth over and over, “I love you,” with her lips, as she could not talk because of the trak. God was really there at that moment as she started to get tears wailing up in her eyes, God just put scripture in my mouth and had it flowing out to comfort her. Good thing God always shows up, or I’d be screwed! Ha!
Emily, though not here physically, continues to impact so many it is unreal! I think her family is realizing the true passions that Em shared with people whom they were unaware of, as now the many Emily had built relationships with are sharing the impact Emily had on their lives -obviously, the God sparks in Em! The memorial reflected most of what she wanted, though a long day. It was really nice to have Robin in town for the weekend and of course Lena. As there has been a tremendous amount of tears, deep deep inside I am going to be fine….and that of course is by the hand of God. Small group is going to be fine too, it is bizarre and feels like there is a huge hole with Emily missing, as for the past nine years we have met every week pretty consistently. Now we have a lil one to distract us for a while as we are still absorbing all that has happened the past few months! For small group, as a whole together, there has been a tremendous amount of life happenings we have discussed and giggled about that would happen in our future….the hardest part is to try to comprehend, that physically Emily will not be that 4th person in the photo or eating at gag me, don’t make me go, Soup Plantation. We know with certainty, the character of God has really been demonstrated through all this. His power, control and strength in my weakness has been there and still is. And all I have to say is thank goodness! And really, Blessed be His name!
Meanwhile, I have continued to be a 4th grade teacher, which still makes me giggle. I know that my job is a gift. I have certainty that God has me in Duarte this year for a reason. The whole concept of having hope through this school year is an ongoing process, as I have witnessed and have been apart of situations to grow me as a professional and person. My two project students became one. Unfortunately for one, he was expelled from the school. It is nice to not have as much trouble with a student, but really he was continuously being watched, as many were looking for an immediate reason to get rid of him, and it happened. As months have gone by, it turns out that the social worker who picked up this particular student’s case said his family has hereditary mental issues. Yeah! Crazy! Literally! And I thought I was the one who was nuts! Blessed be your name God! hehehe
My other project student, who used to do snow angles on the carpet in the front of the classroom, was also diagnosed. He was so unruly, I was desperate for change, and the office could do so much, and honestly they were tired of him too. I invited the student’s, mom to come everyday. She did, sitting right next to him. I purposely would change my teaching schedule in order for her to see how he acted up in all the different subjects. At this point she realized it was not me or the school against her child, but her child with a problem. She finally signed paperwork where we could test her son. She also went to her family doc to have him meet with a psychiatrist. The student was diagnosed as ADHD, bipolar, depressed and suicidal as he refers to death often! Yeah that’s crazy too! I have a little grace with this student now that there are some answers, but oh man! The rest of my students are great! I have seen so much growth in their confidence and academics, though we are still working on getting grade level! It is awesome to see how they are becoming more independent! This week is open house! Rumor has it that parents don’t all come, I am hoping to disprove the theory with my class. It should be interesting. We will see!
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
The song I play over and over in the car is “Blessed be Your Name.” The lyrics really have hit home for me. I continue to think of the gift of life that I have along with new philosophies, or added on thoughts. I am also continuing to learn that in the journey of the life I am given, no matter what, when, how, why, where, how long, and with whom, I have to remember through it all-blessed be the name of the Lord! God is constant, he never changes and his promises written in the Bible are real and true. I have reminded myself of this concept, and I turn to God, and look to him for guidance and really strength, which leads to a priority check and gentile reminders rooted with hope and faith.
Emily going to heaven was really hard. It was something I knew was going to happen, yet I never really knew how it would be until it happened. The day she passed away was a crazy day. It was the day of the CF walk and all of Team Emily was together walking. I started crying at the registration table before anything started. I usually can keep a tear from falling, but I am beginning to think not anymore. The particular walk was one in which Emily really took ownership in, to get so many other teams involved to raise money for a cure for CF. I think this might have been the 10th year for the Team Emily walk. It was hard, for Emily was not there, or even knew it was happening. At the beginning of the program as the speakers spoke, it was hard to keep a tear from falling. Emily used to be the speaker. My sis kept tenderly rubbing my back, and then typical McGee style slapped me in the butt to make me laugh!
After the walk I got news that Emily was in a place where the docs gave her 24 hours, but really less. Her sort of Aunt told me to get in the car with her from the CF walk to go to the hospital. I decided to go home and call our small group so we could all be together. With Lena the six of us hung at Jill’s, since she was supposed to pop anytime, and pretty much waited for the phone call. The first phone call was to pray that she was going to be unplugged from all the machines. The second phone call was to ask to pray for an easy passing. The third phone call was to say she was in heaven. Emily is no longer struggling to get a breath of air, as for sure since November it had been difficult for her. She is not longer in ICU in critical condition for over three months. She is home, safely home.
What a testimony of a person Emily is, whose heart is solely one after God to fight so hard when her body failed her. The times that I was able to visit her she was coherent. The last time was especially hard as it was just the two of us in her room, she looking at me with big eyes, continuing to mouth over and over, “I love you,” with her lips, as she could not talk because of the trak. God was really there at that moment as she started to get tears wailing up in her eyes, God just put scripture in my mouth and had it flowing out to comfort her. Good thing God always shows up, or I’d be screwed! Ha!
Emily, though not here physically, continues to impact so many it is unreal! I think her family is realizing the true passions that Em shared with people whom they were unaware of, as now the many Emily had built relationships with are sharing the impact Emily had on their lives -obviously, the God sparks in Em! The memorial reflected most of what she wanted, though a long day. It was really nice to have Robin in town for the weekend and of course Lena. As there has been a tremendous amount of tears, deep deep inside I am going to be fine….and that of course is by the hand of God. Small group is going to be fine too, it is bizarre and feels like there is a huge hole with Emily missing, as for the past nine years we have met every week pretty consistently. Now we have a lil one to distract us for a while as we are still absorbing all that has happened the past few months! For small group, as a whole together, there has been a tremendous amount of life happenings we have discussed and giggled about that would happen in our future….the hardest part is to try to comprehend, that physically Emily will not be that 4th person in the photo or eating at gag me, don’t make me go, Soup Plantation. We know with certainty, the character of God has really been demonstrated through all this. His power, control and strength in my weakness has been there and still is. And all I have to say is thank goodness! And really, Blessed be His name!
Meanwhile, I have continued to be a 4th grade teacher, which still makes me giggle. I know that my job is a gift. I have certainty that God has me in Duarte this year for a reason. The whole concept of having hope through this school year is an ongoing process, as I have witnessed and have been apart of situations to grow me as a professional and person. My two project students became one. Unfortunately for one, he was expelled from the school. It is nice to not have as much trouble with a student, but really he was continuously being watched, as many were looking for an immediate reason to get rid of him, and it happened. As months have gone by, it turns out that the social worker who picked up this particular student’s case said his family has hereditary mental issues. Yeah! Crazy! Literally! And I thought I was the one who was nuts! Blessed be your name God! hehehe
My other project student, who used to do snow angles on the carpet in the front of the classroom, was also diagnosed. He was so unruly, I was desperate for change, and the office could do so much, and honestly they were tired of him too. I invited the student’s, mom to come everyday. She did, sitting right next to him. I purposely would change my teaching schedule in order for her to see how he acted up in all the different subjects. At this point she realized it was not me or the school against her child, but her child with a problem. She finally signed paperwork where we could test her son. She also went to her family doc to have him meet with a psychiatrist. The student was diagnosed as ADHD, bipolar, depressed and suicidal as he refers to death often! Yeah that’s crazy too! I have a little grace with this student now that there are some answers, but oh man! The rest of my students are great! I have seen so much growth in their confidence and academics, though we are still working on getting grade level! It is awesome to see how they are becoming more independent! This week is open house! Rumor has it that parents don’t all come, I am hoping to disprove the theory with my class. It should be interesting. We will see!
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