Week 7 Monday

I am back from my trip to Oregon, which was wonderful! I booked my ticket the week after school was out in June, knowing it would be my one out of state trip of the summer. I figured the middle of June would be a good time to leave rather than August. I crossed my fingers and hoped the trip timing would not conflict with any possibilities of jobs. I was wrong for two different positions and was able to fix one, but also lost an opportunity: 1. I had to change my original departure time for a later time to make an interview with West Covina the morning I left. That worked out fine. The principal found out and asked me about it. Slightly awkward, but I guess it demonstrated my quest for a teaching job. 2. I missed a demo lesson the Duarte principal set up to witness the quality teachers she interviewed to make a decision of whom to hire (I found out about this opportunity after I left, the principal told me to call her when I returned).

Now in CA, I decided to follow up with the principal in Duarte to see what I need to do for her to see that I am capable of teaching and love it! As I talked to the Duarte principal, she decided there was no need to have me do a demo lesson, aka she had filled the position I applied for while in Oregon after watching others demo their teaching. This is so frustrating to me! But on the business perspective I get it, yet I was under the impression she would give me a chance to demo teach when I got back-which I understand she in no means had to. She mentioned she had 2 more possible openings (2nd and 4th grade) in August, but was not positive based on a few factors and to keep looking around. She mentioned my interview, references, follow-up references, etc. were good and knew I was a good/quality teacher, and because of that IF there are openings in August she will call me as one of her firsts. I flat out asked her if not being at the school for a demo lesson affected me, and she basically said yes. UHHHHHHH is how I feel right about now. I, in no means regret my trip. And that is when she mentioned I had no control of the situation and the idea that she would call me as I was in route to Oregon. I am not bitter toward the principal or her system to choose. I am just sad that it was a system decided too late for me to be apart of. The Duarte door is not all the way closed, but it is beginning to look that way.

A few lessons in life I think I have mastered are anything with control. I realize I have no control over anything. And this is a lesson I thought I mastered after having to deal with death first hand. I guess it is going to hit all areas of my life. The only control I have is over me. This is hard. I have hit the wall of emotions and definitely have cried a few times throughout today. Over the past few weeks, I have acclimated to the idea I was going to be teaching in Duarte as a 5th grade teacher. I get the whole doors open and closed concept from God. I get he has, thank God, everything under CONTROL. I definitely trust him and in a weird way still have peace. I am just getting weary of this whole process to follow the passions of my heart, because of ridiculous situations yet again, I have no control over, just me. I will be teaching, just don’t know how quite yet! There are reasons for everything, I just don’t always have the answers.

Tomorrow I have my 2nd interview with West Covina, I am grateful for an opportunity, I now need to move West Covina up on my priority list, and see if this is a door that will open or close.

No news from Japan.