June 9th

Today, I went on a field trip with my students. It was awesome. It is sort of like hanging out with 29 friends, well that are 9 and 10! I guess it is cool, because they appreciated the trip so much! They just get excited to ride a bus. And are so well behaved! Since this was our 4th field trip the kids know the routine. I immediately become a tour guide, since most of the kids have not been far away from home. One kid said, "So what cool thing are we going to see on the way to Riley's Farm?" Since there is not much, I said, "The amazing statue of Ms. McGee, and it is free!" They liked that! Simple things got them excited, as we talked about the University of Redlands and the idea that the area is known for Citrus. They were fasinated!

I knew when I student taught in Hacienda Heights, after a period of time, I would eventually work with a lower economic group. I knew I could be a huge impact in their lives and love on the kids. I consider my years in Glendora, my foundational and confidence buiding years, but I honestly knew and it was a matter of time, though it is still hard, and they were temperary years.

This year hands down was my hardest year in teaching, partically because of what happened in my personal life, but also because of the stories I learned of my students and some of the craziness some of them put me through. Just this week I yet again need to call a social worker because a student made a father's day card with 4-20 and marajana leaves, then talked about how there was nothing wrong with the picture because that is what her dad sells in their house! Oh man! This is the first time in my career, where I am feeling the saddest to have to say goodbye to my kids. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all my students over the years, but I am just to the point with my class where we really know each other very well. It is scary how well we all are close in a bizarre way. Though school will be out in a few weeks, I wish I could have three more months with my kids. I thought I would never say that! It is just hard. My mom put it nicely once, as she was going through her grieving class. Every year I go through a loss emotionally, as I have to say goodbye to my classes, and pack up my classroom as if I was not going back. This time the loss is harder to deal with, not because of the staff, but the kids. School is a safe place for them, and now they have no summer school and are going to be in their homes, where many parents dont want them there.

I am confident that God wanted me in Duarte this year. Really without any doubt, now. I have had many, many lessons, that have really made me a better professional. Not sure why it is me who has to keep learning lessons in my profession with a lack of consistancy and awareness of what the future holds, but there is a strong consistancy and desire to teach. I hold onto that with faith that the Lord will continue to provide for what is to come. By next week, I will be done with all the paperwork aspect of my job, and then it will be time, yet again to pack. God is in control, and good thing.